


Static

by RenderedReversed



Series: Legend Has It [2]
Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Pokemon Fusion, Loki can speak to Pokémon, M/M, Pokémon Professor Bruce Banner, Thor being a magnet for Electric type Legendaries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-27
Updated: 2018-09-27
Packaged: 2019-07-18 04:36:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16110938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RenderedReversed/pseuds/RenderedReversed
Summary: “I know at least three high-profile Pokémon Professors who would be crazy jealous of you right now.”“To be fair,” Thor said, “It’s Zekrom they like.”





	Static

“I know at least three high-profile Pokémon Professors who would be crazy jealous of you right now,” said Bruce.

Thor gave barely a grunt of acknowledgement, but Bruce went on.

“I think _I’m_ jealous of you right now, and I’m standing right here!”

Zapdos turned a glare on them and Bruce immediately snapped his mouth shut. One didn’t simply _shout_ in the presence of a legendary Pokémon, after all. It was rude, or something, and he was sure several cultures probably found it sacrilegious too.

Raikou yawned.

“To be fair,” Thor said, “It’s Zekrom they like.”

From where they sat lax on the grass, Zekrom snuffled. The black dragon seemed perfectly comfortable being made a pillow of by their fellow Electric-type legendaries. A roll of electricity ran down the length of Raikou’s curled form, trailing up along Zekrom’s arm to Zapdos perched on their shoulder, and then back down again to light a gentle, pulsing blue about their tail.

Thor had only ever seen his friend so relaxed around their literal other half, Reshiram. It was a little startling.

“Only a _little_?” Bruce whisper-shouted. “You’re sure? Just a teensy bit? Because between you and me, only one of us is a Pokémon Professor specializing in legendary Pokémon behavior and related phenomena, and that’s me.”

“You must be easily impressed, then,” Thor said.

“I think it’s the other way around here. You’re too _difficult_ to impress.”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night,” said Thor.

They returned to Poké-watching. It wasn’t _that_ interesting—even ancient, legendary Pokémon were still Pokémon—but Thor was just pleased his friend could find a little bit of peace in a foreign land. He’d pestered Loki day and night to ensure that _yes, Zekrom wants to come_ and _no, Unova won’t collapse without them_ , but Johto was still a ways away from home.

Homesickness was a very real thing.

Besides, Thor figured this would be a lot more engaging if they could actually understand what they were saying. What sort of conversations would legendary Pokémon have, anyway? He’d have to ask Loki about it later.

“ _So_ ,” Bruce began, “How’s the wife?”

Serenely, Thor said, “Weren’t you just drooling over your notebook?”

“I can talk and drool at the same time.”

Thor snorted. “You really can’t. What if you miss something important, like what set of feathers Zapdos preens first?”

“They’re preening?!”

Zekrom opened one lazy eye. The peek of their red scelera seemed to say, _keep your human quiet, Thor_ , in what sounded suspiciously like Loki’s translator voice.

Bruce covered his mouth with both hands. Thor laughed.

“Sorry, sorry,” he said, waving in the cuddle pile’s direction. Then he turned to Bruce and said, “See?”

“ _Not_ funny.”

“It was a little funny.”

“I think I just had a heart attack,” muttered Bruce. “Where’s my meds—”

While Bruce busied himself with that, Thor figured he might as well test his luck and stood.

The cuddle pile barely moved at his approach, but Thor wasn’t under any delusions that he’d gone unnoticed. It must’ve been Zekrom, then, that kept them at ease; just as Loki had said Jolteon had spoken well of him, Zekrom had probably passed on a good word or two as well—he hoped.

First Thor approached Zekrom and gave his greetings, patting his friend’s leg. The dragon slowly bent and allowed him to press their cheeks together. A brief spark of electricity ran down his spine, setting the hairs of his arms and legs on end but with little other consequence. When he pulled away, he noticed the slight static of his beard, too.

Thor grinned. “That’s fair,” he told Zekrom.

From their perch on Zekrom’s other side, Zapdos gave him a beady stare. It wasn’t unlike the look Thor got from Serperior—and Loki, for that matter—when she wanted to be left alone, so he merely bowed to show he respected their space and moved on.

When Thor sat down, Raikou blinked at him.

“Pats?” Thor asked, extending his hand.

For a moment, he thought Raikou might turn away, but then the great big cat lifted their head and sniffed.

Raikou placed their head back down.

Thor grinned. Pats allowed! He began to stroke down the thick, purple mane, and when Raikou purred in approval, he moved to scritch beneath their white whiskers, taking care to avoid the two long fangs extending from the roof of their muzzle.

Somewhere behind, Bruce made a half-strangled noise.

Zekrom rumbled in amusement and nudged Thor closer. Before long, he had a lapful of static-y, purring cat.

“I think I forgot how to breathe,” Bruce muttered. “Can I take pictures? Are pictures allowed here?”

“No photography, please,” Thor told him cheerfully.

“Guess I’ll have to settle for a sketch.”

“Put your art skills to the test. If it’s not half bad, I think I’d like one.”

Now it was Bruce’s turn to snort. “Pokémon Professor to streetside artist. Always knew that minor would come in handy.”

Thor, meanwhile, found himself very comfortable. The small zing of electricity he could do without, but it wasn’t much more than a usual cuddle session with Zekrom. Raikou seemed aware of his human fragility and moderated accordingly.

At some point, Zekrom lifted his head.

“Ah,” Bruce said. This wasn’t his first time observing. “Think your wife’s going to be mad that you’re not doing any work?”

“Loki is the last person to talk,” Thor assured. “Last time I visited him, he was lounging around in Ecruteak Dance Hall under a pile of eeveelutions!”

Bruce turned away from his careful watch of the sky to consider him. “Like husband like wife, I guess?”

“Loki likes them fluffy.”

“And you like them zappy—got it.”

Before long, the hum of Reshiram’s generators filled the field, and then the Vast White Pokémon themselves came into sight.

Loki, naturally, rode in on their back.

Moments after their landing, Loki dismounted in one smooth leap. Though he no longer dressed as if he’d come straight from a Virbank rock concert like when he was 15, he _did_ still lean towards the darker colors.

And leather. Loki wore _a lot_ of that.

“You’ve been married for how many years and you’re _still_ drooling?” Bruce asked.

Thor didn’t bother denying his open admiration and continued to stare as he said, rather offhandedly, “How long have you been specializing in legendaries again?”

“…Touché.”

“Besides, we’re not married. Darling!”

Loki made quick work of the distance between them and crossed his arms. Thor smiled helplessly from his seat on the ground.

“To what do I owe the pleasure?” he asked.

“Oh, just thought I’d check up on my dearest _husband_.”

Bruce studiously tried to make himself one with the background. Thor laughed and scratched the back of his head, only to be grumbled at by Raikou for stopping.

“Sorry,” he said, returning to his task that required constant, _immediate_ attention. To Loki, he asked, “You ah, heard that?”

“Not in the slightest, but Reshiram did.”

Thor looked behind Loki. Reshiram sat preening their feathers on the grass. When they met his gaze, they tilted their head in a manner he chose to interpret as, _what, you thought I was on_ your _side?_

Given that they were an ancient, powerful dragon from the legends, that was probably not what they said. Thor still awkwardly coughed.

“Ah, um, yes—well. Err…I’d actually planned this a lot differently, but—”

Loki rolled his eyes. “Oh, cease your bumbling; we’ve got work to do. Listen, you know how I was at the Ruins of Alph?”

Thor nodded dumbly.

“Well, I solved all the puzzles around two days ago. It opened a hidden room with scriptures written all over the floor, and they didn’t make any sense when I tried reading them in anicent Kantonese, but then I remembered that trip to Sinnoh we took last year—”

Off to the side, he saw Bruce with his face buried in his hands, shaking his head. Honestly, Thor kind of wanted to do that, too.

“—and I think I found records of Arceus in Johto,” Loki finished.

Bruce’s head snapped up. “What?!” he squawked.

Raikou, upon realizing that they probably weren’t going to get anymore pats from Thor, grumbled and moved off.

Thor immediately shot to his feet. “You’re sure?” he asked.

Loki gave him a dirty look.

“Alright, yes, of course you’re sure. What are you waiting for? Let’s go!”

Sensing their imminent departure, Zekrom rose and began to say farewell to their new friends. Loki called for Reshiram and Thor began to pack his things.

“Hey, hey wait a minute!” Bruce exclaimed. “Aren’t you forgetting something? Pokémon Professor specializing in legendaries over here! What are the odds of taking me with you?”

Thor shot him a cheeky grin. “So sorry friend, but I wouldn’t want you to be a third wheel.”

“That’s no problem,” Bruce quickly said, “I love being a third wheel. It’s my hobby, right next to art. I do it all the time! Come on, you won’t even notice I’m there!”

“I think you’ve stolen my husband for long enough,” said Loki, a sly glint in his eye. “It _is_ our anniversary today, you know.”

Both Bruce and Thor choked. “Wait, what?!”

“Just kidding.”

Then, before any more could be said, Reshiram took to the skies.

Bruce made a sound in the back of his throat. “Geez, good luck with _that_ one.”

“He can hear you,” said Thor. When Bruce flinched, he laughed. “Ah, believe me friend, we’ve been through too much to need _luck_.”

“…So does that mean you’ll take me with you on your totally nerdy, potentially groundbreaking-for-the-history-of-life-as-we-know-it date?”

“No,” said Thor. “But I’ll tell you how it goes.”

Then Zekrom was taking to the skies too, and Bruce was left alone. The two other legendaries, of course, had long since left.

Bruce groaned.

“Hope you have fun!” he shouted, waving halfheartedly after them, “On your totally romantic, totally not work-related date!”

Perhaps it was a trick of the wind, but he could’ve sworn he heard them laughing at him.

**Author's Note:**

> Unova's gotta have one of my favorite lores in the whole mainline series. A+ game, hope to write a little more about it in the lead up to LGPE!


End file.
